Isolation

Hiding one’s own feelings

(a)
Do my feelings match my expression?

Do you ever disguise what you’re thinking towards others because you know it would cause a stir or get you in trouble?
For Japanese this is more or less a way of life. The Japanese terms honne and tatemae  describe the average Japanese person’s personal dichotomy between what they really feel or desire inside and what they project to those around them in order to meet expectations or maintain group harmony. This approach flows naturally from the priority Japanese place on wa or “social harmony”, which we’ve discussed earlier.  While it is certainly noble and beneficial at certain times to keep what you’re thinking to yourself, an almost complete lack of opportunities to express what you really feel or desire can have an enormous personal and psychological toll.

Social isolation and mental illness

(b)
Like many countries around the world, Japan is still coming to terms with how to deal with its mental health landscape in the 21st century. But the honne/tatemae dynamic means that intense emotional or mental struggles such as grief, depression, anxiety, resentment and frustration may be culturally inappropriate to express to others in many situations.[1]
A group of Japanese counsellors have noted that economic pressures and social changes are some of the biggest contributing factors to the growing mental health issues in Japanese society. Relational difficulties, detachment, disorientation and anxiety are all said to be side-effects of the cultural alterations in recent decades that have seen individualistic thinking disrupt the traditional boundaries of social harmony and group-relationship structures. Elderly Japanese may become isolated through immobility and their living arrangements. Salarymen might experience emotional isolation from those around them due to the pressures of the workplace and the economy.[2][3]

Japanese women may also suffer from feelings of isolation due to the breakdown of traditional family networks resulting in arrangements with limited emotional support. Between 2005 and 2008, Japanese police recorded over 100 cases of mother’s killing their children, often due to extreme experiences of stress or psychological pressure linked with feelings of isolation and desperation.[4] It is safe to conclude that thousands suffer in silence without taking such drastic action.

Hikikomori 

The expression of isolation amongst Japanese that typically gets the most attention – especially in foreign media is the phenomenon known as hikikomori. This is a case of severe social withdrawal by young Japanese (mostly males from the teenage years – 20s) involving months on end (sometimes years) spent isolated in their bedrooms (normally in their parents’ home) with no human interaction or company, save for a television and online gaming. Often this extreme form of reclusivity is instigated by bullying or social ostracism, motivating the young person to completely withdraw from the outside world to a space where they can control their limited social interactions.

Because of the social stigma, the parents of these youths are often too embarrassed to seek outside help and Japanese mothers with hikikomori children will often dutifully bring meals to their (usually) son’s doorway and leave it for them to grab when they’re hungry. Some hikikomori do emerge from their room at times, to shower for instance, but they often do this in the early hours of the morning when the rest of the family is sleeping.

There are believed to be up to 1 million hikikomori in Japan today. It is extremely difficult for those who have taken this approach to re-integrate into the stream-lined flow of ordinary Japanese society.[5] Some Japanese organisations like New Start have taken interesting approaches to draw out hikikomori youth and give them a pathway back into society.
They hire young women to visit the house of the hikikomori and try to establish trust and conversations over time, which leads to an invitation being made to join group activities such as tours of Tokyo Disneyland.[6]

Some Christian churches and organisations have been responding to the issue of hikikomori. For instance, Koichi Hirano of Tokyo Horizon Chapel has taken groups of hikikomori on a camping tour in the USA to provide opportunities for them to re-enter social networks with others. You can read more about his experiences with that project here.  

Reconciliation with the God who made us and gave us life is an amazing, much needed gift for all of us. But millions of Japanese, one way or another, are experiencing relational isolation – cut off from the love of God and the goodness of healthy human relationships. Christians can give people a safe way to express their feelings, a safe place to belong and a way back to hope for those who have given up on living in the world. Please pray that Japanese Christians and missionaries would have the wisdom to know how to do these things effectively.

[1] http://blog.gaijinpot.com/honne-tatemae/
[2] Tomoko Kudo Grabosky, Harue Ishii, Shinzuno Mase, “Counselling in Japan” in Thomas Hohenshil et. al. Counselling Around the World. (American Counselling Association, 2013).
[3] http://www.bbc.com/news/world-33362387
[4] http://www.smh.com.au/world/why-japans-isolated-mothers-are-killing-their-children-20081107-5k7s.html
[5] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxYs2Pv86WA
[6] www.japanfocus.org/-Asano-Shirou/2239/article.htm

Photo Credit
(a) Flickr user: Simon Q “Traditional Japanese Face Mask” CC BY-NC 2.0
(b) Flickr user: humbletree “Mr. Lonely” CC BY-NC 2.0